When I woke up, I was in a white tiled room.
What was happening? The last thing that I could remember, I had just finished uploading a document at 11pm that had to be delivered the next day. After that, I checked up on a project report that had been passed to me after a colleague had left the company only to find it in a mess. No rules had been set up and there were just references everywhere. Depending on the page, some aggregated values were just hard coded in. “I can’t let such bad work pass” was what I said. But, because my Excel skills weren’t that good, I ended up having to work overtime.
No, that’s not right. In the company, I was the Excel expert. Because of that, even people I didn’t know would come over to me and ask me about things they didn’t understand. In other words, even if I had been good at Excel, I would still have had to work overtime.
Rather, Excel aside, where is this place?
As I was holding my head, a middle-aged man entered the room. He was wearing green and white clothes. It felt uncomfortable to look at. The man threw a green piece of clothing at me as he spoke.
“Put it on, it will be the last suit you’ll ever wear.”
Wasn’t that the line from when Will Smith was given his suit in MIB? I thought I had been reincarnated into another world, but I guess I hadn’t died? If that was the case, I didn’t want to wear anything like that.
“No. Please let me out of here. I still have work to do and I have to go back.”
“Unfortunately, you can’t go back. You’re dead.”
“Eh!? Then what you said earlier…”
“It’s a line from a movie. Haven’t you seen Men in Black?”
It seemed that this middle-aged man had a hobby of using movie quotes. It also seemed I had reincarnated into another world. Giving up, I put on the same green and white clothes as the man.
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“You, what did you work as?”
“Eh? Like a warrior or wizard? I’ve only just come to this world, so I’m not entirely sure.”
“Hah? What are you talking about? Did you die from gaming too much? That’s why young people are in so much trouble. All the people who come here should be office workers. By the way, I was in charge of general affairs at a construction company.”
It seemed I hadn’t been reincarnated into a different world. I didn’t know if it was heaven, hell or a world after death, but let’s just be positive and call it heaven. It seems to be a heaven for office workers or general affairs managers of construction companies.
“Ahh, right. I’m not sure how to answer that. It’s bit hard to explain, but I worked at an internet advertisement company doing various documentation and analysis work.”
“Ah, a data analyst, those kinds of people are generally good. I look forward to your work.”
Who is this guy? How does he know what a data analyst is when I’ve never been able to explain it to my relatives or classmates.
“Oops, I have to explain things first. This is Google Spreadsheets, and we are the workers.”
Damn it, I’m dying from confusion. What do you mean we’re in Google Spreadsheets, this isn’t heaven or another world?