Saito spoke when he saw the cloud-like function emerge.
“That’s an IMAGE function.”
“Image function?”
“Well, it’s a function that displays an image in a cell.”
“Is that different from inserting or pasting an image?”
“It’s completely different. I’ll explain it to you.”
As Saito said that, he began to write his explanation on the wall. Apparently the entire wall could be used as a whiteboard. As one would expect from the tools of a world class IT company, facilities were well equipped.
=IMAGE(URL, [mode], [height], [width])
Saito began to explain as he wrote the basic function syntax.
“There are three optional arguments which, from my experience, are rarely specified. The function just pulls an image from the web using the URL provided, so it almost never fails to process.”
“When you place an image in Excel and change the cell size, the image might end up being moved to a different row or have its aspect ratio changed, which is troublesome, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, but this function doesn’t care about image placement. The IMAGE function is just a function. The image will be placed into the cell where the function is executed. The optional arguments specify how the image will be displayed. The default mode is 1, which shrinks the image down to the cell size while keeping the original aspect ratio, the other modes change the aspect ratio of the image or crop the image while maintaining the same cell size.”
Saying that, Saito drew a diagram and explained the behaviour of each mode. The old man was surprisingly careful when it came to writing words and drawing lines. As Saito said, the operation was simple and the illustrations were very easy to understand, so I understood how the function mostly worked.
“Heh, that’s convenient. There are functions here that Excel doesn’t have. I wonder why Excel doesn’t have it.”
“This works on the assumption that you’re connected to the internet. It’s different from Excel, which started as an offline program. Otherwise, URLs wouldn’t appear as arguments. There are several other functions that also pull from the internet. This is where we have the advantage.”
Saito was strangely proud of the competitive advantages over Excel.
“If you understand, you can handle that guy. The syntax is simple enough, right?”
“I’ll try it.”
Reaching out to the IMAGE function floating above, I processed it.
“IMAGE.”
The cloud-like function, which had just been floating about, began to shake violently. Oh no, did I make a mistake? I backed away, a little freaked out. Turning to look at Saito, he was just nodding his head silently with his arms crossed. It didn’t seem like there were any problems.
ZAP!!
After a few seconds of silence, lightning suddenly struck the cell where the IMAGE function was. Startled, I gave a yelp as jumped back nervously. Both Saito and Inoue grinned at me. These two had been silent on purpose. Damn it, why are spreadsheet experts all so nasty?
“Hey, Takahashi, take a good look at the function.”
Prompted by Saito, I saw the IMAGE function slowly being sucked into the cell where lightning had struck.
“This, this is……”
After being sucked in, a vague image started to appear in the cell, which grew clearer as the resolution gradually increased.
“You got to be joking, this is……”
It was a manga advertisement where men were intertwined. Like an animated GIF, the images flickered and switched. All the images were pretty harsh for straight men to see. Saito and I silently averted our eyes when the censored parts of their bodies started to appear. Inoue was the only one staring at the images with an excited look on her face.
In the midst of the silence, 10 more IMAGE functions appeared.
※Functions
IMAGE https://support.google.com/docs/answer/3093333