“Manager Yamashita…was the person in charge of the client I was working for.”
Manager Yamashita, no, Yamashita, was seriously annoying. He had the habit of being arrogant about advertising and always gave me orders that were completely off base with the reports and targets I had created. If the results were good, he would say ‘see, I told you so’ and if not, he would put the blame on me.
The worst thing was that he would keep complaining about the Excel reports I submitted. The borders are hard to see, the colours are bad, it’s rude to not move the select to cell A1 before saving, there might be people who can’t open .xlsx so save it as .xls. I don’t know if he was just bad mannered or something else, but he kept complaining about things that weren’t really part of the job. I know he just wanted to put me down so he could get the upper hand on me.
He was the worst. It felt terrible to his face again inside Google Spreadsheets.
“I don’t know why you thought of Yamashita-san, but if it’s someone you know, it will be difficult to fight. Stay back, Takahashi.”
Saito said that, but I didn’t agree.
“No, I’m fine. Please let me do it. Rather, I want to hit him.”
It was true. How many times had I held back my fist during meetings.
“…I don’t mind, but don’t get too excited. We’re Google Spreadsheet workers and our job is to process functions, and that old man isn’t Yamashita, but IMPORTRANGE, okay?”
I ran out without waiting for Saito to finish.
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“YAMASHITAAAAAAAAA!!! DIEEEEEE!!!”
I slammed the metal bat into Mangaer Yamashita’s belly.
Manager Yamashita belly made a dull, unpleasant, sound as he staggered.
“RAAAH!!!”
Yamashita didn’t seem to be fighting back, but I didn’t show any mercy and continued hitting him with the bat. Yamashita didn’t show any expressions of pain, but just kept a meaningless grin on his face instead.
“Damn it, that’s creepy!!”
Swinging the bat at the manager’s head felt like hitting hard clay. What’s with this guy’s body? The manager’s head was slightly sunken in as he fell backwards, but not a single drop of blood came out. Breathing heavily, I looked down at Yamashita and swung the bat towards his face.
Author’s Note
Although Takahashi’s sentiments included criticism of Excel etiquette, I would like to add that the author does not view all of them in a critical manner.